Sunday, June 10, 2012

Insomnia

It would seem I've forgotten how to sleep. For the last two weeks I think I've slept less than 5 hours a night, some nights less than 3. Last night it was close to 4 a.m. when my brain finally stopped spinning and I could relax enough to sleep, then I was wide awake again at 7:30, knowing there would be no point lying there so I might as well get up. I've tried to make use of the time, but that seems to make the situation worse... if I get up and paint there is the possibility I won't be able to sleep at all. Not to mention that what I produce in my sleep deprived state is absolute crap. So I wander around the house, read, watch a movie, doodle, maybe look online to see if there's a friend in another time zone that is still awake and wants to chat.

The interesting thing about insomnia is that when I'm exhausted, my mind makes these bizarre connections that I just can't see when I'm well rested. I suddenly understand why that person at work is insisting on making my life miserable. Or how the theme in this movie I'm watching is exactly the same as the book I'm reading and my current favourite song, and how that relates to my life.

I found an exercise in a book about art journaling by LK Ludwig that I thought might help me. Maybe working on something where the final product was unimportant might help my brain to wind down a bit. She calls this "found poetry"... you cut up a bunch of words out of magazines, throw them in a bowl, pull out a certain number and compose a poem with them. Honestly, this would be the only way I'd compose a poem... words are most definitely not my strong suit.


Not brilliant, but for a first attempt, not so bad. And it was fun. I think I'll do this one again.